"Its not that automatic,your supposed to aim it first "
These are lines taken from soldiers annual reports or confidentials
1. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
2. A room temperature IQ.
3. Got a full six pack,but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
4. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
5. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
6. As bright as Alaska in December.
7. Gates are down, the lights are flashing,but the train isn't coming
8. He's so dense, light bends round him.
9. If he were anymore stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
10.Its hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.
11.Takes him two hoursto watch sixty minutes.
12.The wheel is turning but the Hamster is dead.
How to answer a dear John letter.
Collect lots of photographs of girls.Send them to the person who sent the dear John,ask her to pick out her picture and send the remainder back to you.
How to stop someone in your room snoring
If the person is asleep give him a shake and when he wakes give him a peck on the cheek and call him georgeous.He won't sleep worrying about you therefor he won't snore.(Only works on guys who are smaller than you)
Press button
Drivers first parade report
Driver-Engine number three cylinder missing.VM answer:-Number three cylinder found after a short search.
Driver-Vehicle drives funny.VM-Vehicle ordered to sort itself out and be more serious.
Driver-Gearbox hums.VM-Gearbox given lyrics for next journey.
Driver-There is evidence of an axle leak.VM-Rremoved evidence.
Sgt. Crafty's paranoid combat clerk.
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Please Push The Button, but be warned, push it only once, or face the consequences!!!! |
